New To Feeling Submissive? A Guide To Get You Started
Submission can seem like a dark, strange world if you are new to feeling submissive and you start snooping around the internet. If you have just begun to have feelings of submission, this guide will help you get clear on how to begin.
3 Things To Forget About
What Other People Tell You: Counterintuitive right? Well, the truth is only you can know what really works for you. If someone says, “This is the way it has to be if you are submissive”, then see if it figures into what you would like to experience, but don’t take it as truth. Even this little guide is about helping you get clear, not about the “right way” to go about this new interest of yours.
Creepy Stuff: If you have had the experience of coming across an image that is a totally repulsive form of submission to you, then forget it. Submission can look like an almost infinite number of scenarios. There is no need for you to wonder why you are not into something that is a turn off to you personally.
That Submission Is Not Normal: What is normal anyway? And who would want to be so boring? The truth is, everybody has secrets and there are very few people that have a truly “traditional” sex life in their interactions and fantasies. Sometimes half of the fun is trying out something that society says is not okay. Just forget about the idea that there is anything wrong with your tendencies because at least according to me, they are perfectly natural.
3 Things That Are Super Important
Take Care of Your Safety: Playing with someone claiming to be dominant online might lead you down path that might not be your best choice. Be leery of anyone posting pics that look fake (80’s photos are one tip-off). Do not give out your personal information because blackmail can be an issue in the online domme/sub (d/s) community. If you want to be extra cautious, you can consider using a prepaid credit card that you can add cash to (example: Vanilla Prepaid).
Make Sure She is Real: Take steps to verify that the person is who she says she is so you do not end up corresponding with some dude pretending to be a hot Domme. None of this is meant to scare you. I just want you to have the info so you can be better informed. Here is an article I wrote on how to tell if your online Dominatrix is real – Read the article here.
Find An Exciting Match: Keep looking until you find a woman that inspires your submissive side. Feeling a connection is important through phone or cam sessions and even through videos or photos. Be on the lookout for someone who starts to melt you and you have a sense could take you on a very pleasurable, uncharted, erotic journey. If you are already feeling like you cannot resist, that is a great start!
3 Things That Are Not Required, Surprisingly
Submitting In Ways You Are Not Comfortable With: If you have hard lines (things you will not ever do) bring them up to your new Domme. If she protests and lets you know they are not acceptable to her, you have just done both of you a favor. Never feel bound to do something that you are not ok with. Just because you are submissive does not mean you are a doormat or that you have no power. This is about pleasure and fun anyway and a great domme will know the difference between a sexy push and crossing your hard lines.
Your Service Will Not Only Be About The Domme’s Pleasure: I can only speak for my own style of dominance here, but I take great pleasure in looking at where our fetishes and pleasures overlap. If you came to me wanting foot worship I would never have a secret ultimate plan to turn you into a strap on sub. I am much more interested in teasing out your natural inclinations and exploring those. It can be a beautiful and very erotic journey to open up and see what truly turns us both on.
Not All The Stereotypes of A Dominatrix Are True: Not all Dommes are the stereotypical drug addicted (like in the book Whip Smart), greedy bitches, who are desperate for cash, immoral, sadistic, have had rough pasts or childhoods, or are fundamentally evil. In fact, none of these apply to Me. Once you trust and feel comfortable with your Domme, the best thing you can do is let her be who she is. Do not try to put her in a category or compare her to others. Let her be the living fantasy that she truly is.
3 Things That Are Different About Me
I Enjoy Personally Knowing You: I do not do the generic Domme thing of taking all submissives down the same path. I enjoy getting to know you, what weakens you, and what makes you tick. Then, I use that info to help build a symbiotic relationship that would only be possible with you and Me. I love delving into your mind and pulling out the naughty stuff that I know will wrap you around My little finger. That takes time to develop and is why I make it so easy to do phone and cam sessions with Me.
I Am Real and Do This Stuff In My Daily Life: I consider myself a lifestyle and professional Domme. It would be hard to envision My life without My good boys. They bring Me so much pleasure and are such an important part of My life. My photos, audios, and videos are the real Me. I know many Dommes choose not to show their faces, but I think you being able to see the real Me is an important part of developing trust and our connection. Plus, I LOVE being adored and my photos and videos make it more possible for Me to be adored by more happy pets. It is possible to come and serve Me in real time, for an in-person session once we get to know each other. (More here)
I Am Interested In What We Can Create Together: The match between you and Me is not something that could be duplicated. I wonder what pleasures you can bring Me that no one else can? I wonder what we can create in a special world that includes just us and our fantasies. This curiosity is the beginning of something special.
If you would like to send me your responses to the questions below I would love to hear them. You can send them here: email@example.com
- Where would I like this exploration of my submissive side to go?
- What would I like to experience with a dominant woman?
- What is my next step?
Hopefully, you have more clarity about your new feelings and where you might like them to go!
Be in touch ;)